initially, i didn't intend to blog today. but suddenly, something came up and my hands started to move like no one's business.

my hands are still trembling, my mind is still at hold. my eyes are getting swollen and my nose is starting to leak. i'm just in the state of shock. just like any other person if they were to have heard the news. i know i wasn't really that close to him. that clone of my dad. though i'm still curious of knowing what had happened to him, i just couldn't think stragiht to start asking the right questions. and yes, he is the third person i know to have passed away this month and we only reach a week of november. i was afraid that i would get panic attack again but thankfully, i managed to control my calmness.

for which you don't know, i might just be next. i've been sick, breaking down and drowned in depression like there is no tomorrow. hurray to me for being able to hide it from everyone to make them think that i'm just a little hyper. and medication really doesn't help. as it seems, i might get overdosage instead.

and how i wish each day will go slower. to help me think. giving me the time to control myself, get better health and enjoy doing homework without the interruption of anxiety attack.

i wanna cleanse my soul. i wanna be clear of all problems. i wanna be out there like everyone else.

rest in peace sir.

in memory of
Daniel Lev.
Sharil Anuar.
Abah.
Danny D.
Cik Maliah.
Nez.
Uncle Thomas.
and whoever else up there..

Hush! you colored my eyes red...


♥추억에 살아 내일은 잊으려나♥