maybe its part of being who i am? maybe its just like the circle going up and down, and now is the down part. maybe its just meant to be.

am i not patient enough? am i so selfish as you claimed i was? am i such a sober that everything makes me down? am i really that kind of person that you don't want to be with anymore?

all i know is that i was confused and will remain confused until you give me assurance. i just can't get the facts right since i never encounter any of those questions from anyone else but you. yes i may be impatient at times but i never really blow it up at anyone hence keeping it in myself that i will tend to cry to myself each time. sober? since when? i cried everything out just because i don't want people to have the burden of my problems in their load. so that is how i release it. selfish.. i wonder when have i been selfish. maybe the word fish is in there so you claimed it as a part of my character? hmm..

and if you don't want to befriend me anymore, just tell it to the face and don't hide it. i know that you've been trying to ignore me each time i bump into you. and i didn't bother if you didn't talk to me. emangnya lo ada ngelihat atau denger apa2 yang ngak2 tentang diri lo dari mulut gw? emangnya bila lo ngak bicara sama gw, gw peduli apa? justeru gw ngak mau peduliin sama skali. dan kalo lo ngak suka sama cara gw sekarang, gw bisa ubah sikap gw supaya bukan aja senangin hati lo tapi juga orang lain. ngerti ngak lo?

so is it a sin just to cry your heart out? i think i'm just having too many questions running into my head that sometime, i just wish to delete myself from this database. furthermore, i am a person who is really quiet and i love to keep everything to myself if that is really possible. even if i'm stressed out over something, its either i jot it down here or i just keep it in myself till i find the time to throw it into sea. that is why i visit sentosa and east coast often. not because i want to look at people running around half naked. just that listening to the waves crashing, the soft breeze and the clouds are always there to keep me company.

can i just go home now? i want to go home...


♥추억에 살아 내일은 잊으려나♥